OK, that's really what you would expect someone to say about a rival if they were trying to win an interview from, say, a southern state governor who's gone missing and, at the time, no one knows why.

You have to wonder, however, what Gov. Mark Sanford's press secretary, Joel Sawyer, thought as it became clear even from the media e-mails promising a sympathetic ear that Sanford's walk in the woods had become a huge problem.

Some of the media e-mails were published this morning by McClatchy's The State newspaper. The paper got them in response to an open records request. You can read a few of the e-mails here. For the story, go here.

In one, ABC's White House correspondent Jake Tapper tries to show how mean rival NBC was being to the governor when he passed along Meet the Press host David Gregory's "tweet" on Sanford: David Gregory of NBC just tweeted: Fm first read re Gov. Sanford: U should be concerned if "your wife say(s) she doesn't know where you are but isn't concerned"

Sawyer's response, if any, isn't known, but you can imagine what he was thinking, and it wasn't about calling Tapper to give him the exclusive, even if Tapper 23 minutes earlier had sent Sawyer the transcript of that morning's TODAY show, with the subject line "NBC spot was slimy."

The next day Sanford surfaced and, prompted by news The State had e-mails between Sanford and his Argentine lover, confessed. Slimy, indeed.

Everyone has hailed Jenny Sanford for her fortitude in the face of what are humiliating circumstances and her unwillingness to stand by her man, as so many political wives have done in the past. But her most recent statement about "forgiving Mark" suggests that she still is looking for her pound of flesh. Maybe it's time for the public back and forth to end.

Just to recap: Mark Sanford confesses an affair on Wednesday a week ago. Jenny releases a statement hours later, saying she threw him out two weeks earlier to maintain her dignity but still loves him. Jenny then calls in an AP reporter on Friday to provide more evidence of Mark's perfidy, noting that he'd begged her for permission to visit his mistress (now there's some dysfunction). Mark retaliates with his own AP interview, in which he confesses that his mistress is his soul mate, that he's seen her more times than he'd previously acknowledged, that there'd been other women (sort of), and that now he's trying to fall back in love with his wife. Today was Jenny's turn, issuing a statement that says she's willing to forgive, but it's an oddly uncharitable one:

"Actions have consequences and he will be dealing with those consequences for a long while. . . . Trust has been broken and will need to be rebuilt. Mark will need to earn back that trust, first and foremost with his family, and also with the people of South Carolina.

"My forgiveness is essential for us both to move on with our lives, with peace, in whatever direction that may take us. . . . Forgiveness opens the door for Mark to begin to work privately, humbly and respectfully toward reconciliation with me. However, to achieve true reconciliation will take time, involve repentance, and will not be easy."

I'm not arguing that he should be forgiven. But isn't this the kind of thing one communicates in private, if one is truly sincere about forgiveness? And if one is actually feeling forgiving is it something one communicates at all? But as we now must suspect, the Sanfords haven't been communicating with one another for a long time. Maybe too many Biblical references. He cites King David, she references a Psalm. It's like watching some kind of Bible camp competition. But then Mark has made clear they aren't soul mates. Thank God for the AP.

The good news, for them and their boys, is Mark promised Wednesday that he was finished talking about his private life. Maybe this will be the last statement from Jenny, too. Then if they're serious about reconciliation, it can take place in private. Don't count on it.

In the meantime, it looks like Sanford won't be stepping down and there won't be a law enforcement investigation of his actions. So what's next?

Well, there will be the conspiracy theories. One arrived today from the Columbia Christians for Life, a South Carolina anti-abortion group. Here's how they spelled out the key questions in an e-mail sent around today:

Was Maria Chapur assigned to commit adultery with Bilderberger Mark Sanford, potential 2012 U.S. presidential candidate?

1) As a potential U.S. President in 2012, was Sanford initially targeted for seduction into committing adultery so that he could be "controlled" [blackmailed] more easily by the Globalist Establishment, if elected president?

2) Since it appears that CFR-member, 33rd Degree Mason, Catholic Newt Gingrich has been given the "tap" by the Globalist Establishment to be the designated "front-runner" for the Republican 2012 presidential nomination,was Mark Sanford "exposed" because he went off the Globalist plantation by opposing Obama's stimulus,and trying to bill himself as a conservative hero, and positioning himself as a challenger to the NWO's Gingrich?

And you thought it was just a love story.

Not the governor's office, but his marriage. How else can you explain his bizarre interview with the AP today in which he acknowledges that he's had relationships, though not fully carnal, with other women, that Maria Belen Chapur, the Argentine siren who drew him to abandon office and sanity two weeks ago, is his soul mate, and that he's trying now to fall back in love with his wife. This surely is not the right way to woo Jenny Sanford back.

Afterall, Jenny Sanford is already on record as having thrown him out to preserve her "dignity." Where's the dignity in taking back someone who thinks you're second fiddle? You can just hear her reaction. You have to fall back in love with me?! Forget it.

Of course, then Sanford could claim he tried, but Jenny rejected him. So he keeps the governor's office — plenty of people want him to stay, as this editorial from McClatchy's The State newspaper makes clear — and maybe has a chance with soulmate Maria, who's really said nothing, one way or the other.

One thing is clear: for the sake of the boys, Mark and Jenny really need to call it quits. Imagine growing up in the "reconciled" Sanford household, shuttling back and forth between his bedroom and hers, carrying messages, trying to keep your head down and avoiding any possibility of glancing at Dad's e-mail. The Sanfords clearly like to use others to carry their messages to one another. If AP were a child, you'd have to pity it, whipsawed first by Jenny's confessional last Friday and then Mark's today. That's no way to live, and the Sanfords' "spiritual advisers" ought to remember that sometimes surrender is the better part of valor.

Besides, living on Sullivan's Island and visiting Dad at Christmas in Punta del Este doesn't sound all that bad. If Jenny'll let them come.

Reporter Gina Smith from McClatchy's The State newspaper met AWOL South Carolina Gov. Mark Sanford at the Atlanta airport as he returned from his alleged hiking trip to . . . Argentina. Read her story here. So now the big questions: Did his wife really think he'd gone off to do some writing? Did his staff really think he was on the Appalachian Trail? And if the answer to both questions is yes, then why? Perhaps he just wanted to dance.

If you're a Republican governor whose standoff with his own legislature over accepting stimulus funds had been the subject of major national news coverage, you're among the four or five people considered likely contenders to be your party's presidential standard bearer and you've got a lot of people, from both parties, in your own state who'd like to knock you off your pedestal, then just how smart is it to wander off for five days and not tell your wife where you're going?

That's the situation Gov. Mark Sanford of South Carolina, chairman of the Republican Governors Association, finds himself in — and we haven't heard the last of it.

Here's the story we ran today, from McClatchy's The State. The salient facts:

_ The governor drove off in a state vehicle last Thursday and dropped from sight.

_ His cell phone was tracked to a location near Atlanta.

_ His wife tells the AP she's not worried, he's gone off to do some writing away from the kids. On Father's Day.

_ His staff finally says he's off on the Appalachian Trail, hiking.

Obviously, there are some inconsistencies here that raise some questions: Why, for example, was it necessary to "track" the governor's cell phone if his staff knew where he was.

Now comes this story from WYFF-TV in Greensboro, S.C. Here're its top points:

_ That state vehicle was tracked not to the Appalachian Trail, but the Atlanta airport.

_ A federal "agent," otherwise not further identified, saw Sanford board a plane there.

There may be a perfectly logical explanation: Maybe Sanford, startled, as his staff says, by the hubub his unannounced vacation created, simply drove to the airport to catch a flight home so he could be in the office on Wednesday. Someone can retrieve the state vehicle later.

Or there's more. Which seems more likely.

WASHINGTON --- After meeting with President Barack Obama at the White House on Monday, it was clear that the nation’s Republican governors are divided over the $787 billion stimulus package signed into law last week. On Sunday, California Gov. Arnold Schwarzeneger, who’s in Washington for the National Governors Association winter meetings, went on national television to praise the stimulus. He called it “a terrific package” and said it would pump $80 billion into the state’s economy. That includes $35 billion in tax cuts and $45 billion that will go to transportation, education, health care and other areas, Schwarzenegger said. Schwarzenegger is at odds with South Carolina Gov. Mark Sanford, the chairman of the Republican Governors Association. Sanford called the package a huge mistake and warned that the nation will hit a tipping point by stacking up trillions and trillions in debt. In an appearance on ABC’s “This Week with George Stephanopoulos,” Schwarzenegger took a shot at Sanford. “Well, Governor Sanford says that he does not want to take the money, the federal stimulus package money. And I want to say to him: I'll take it,” Schwarzenegger said. “I'm more than happy to take his money or any other governor in this country that doesn't want to take this money, I take it, because we in California can need it.” At a media stakeout at the White House after Monday’s meeting, Sanford shot back. “It’s a difference of opinion that makes the world go round,” Sanford told reporters. Reacting specifically to Schwarzenegger’s remarks, Sanford said: “I don’t begrudge him. Everybody’s got their different take in the world of politics. I think the easiest of all things is to grab money that’s there on the table. I think the more delicate question is how do we pay for all that money that’s put on the table.” Schwarzenegger, who left the White House for another meeting, skipped the stakeout.