Mr. X uses #Twitter to speak of violent #sex with Ms. #Bachmann, the Minnesota congresswoman and former presidential candidate.
Now, a grand jury in Washington, D.C. is trying to find out just who Mr. X is. On Thursday, a federal judge declined Mr. X's bid to quash the subpoena to Twitter to uncover his identity.
In a brutally worded, but highly entertaining, 13-page opinion, U.S. District Judge Royce Lamberth rejected both the subpoena-quashing effort and, more broadly, Mr. X's ouevre oeuvre*. Writes Judge Lamberth:
"Mr. X's body of tweets is extremely crude and in almost incomprehensibly poor taste...the page is entirely without merit, comedic or otherwise. More offensive even than Mr. X's chosen vocabulary is the pathetic transparency and vapidity of his attempt to elicit the attention on the Internet that he surely lacks in real life."
To wit, Judge Lamberth reports, in August 2011 Mr. X wrote (and here, unlike the judge's opinion, Suits & Sentences will be discrete discreet**):
"I want to (blank) Michelle Bachmann in her (blank) with a Vietnam era machete."
Prosecutors, apparently, consider this a potential threat against the member of Congress. Judge Lamberth, saying that "readers deserve an honest assessment of Mr. X's Twitter page without having to debase themselves by viewing it personally," quotes verbatim a number of other, similarly toned tweets.
Intriguingly, Judge Lamberth, even as he allows the subpoenas to go forward, said he has "grave doubts" about the likelihood of an indictment. After all, he says:
"There appears to be nothing serious whatsoever about Mr. X's Twitter page, except perhaps the severity of the mental depravity that would lead a person to produce such posts."
*Post originally misspelled oeuvre, error caught by an alert reader.
**And yet another alert reader noted original post's wrong use of this word.