November 20, 2009

Progress in Israeli-Palestinian (small) talks

Finally, reports of progress in talks between Israel and the Palestinian Authority.

Unfortunately, the report  comes from the Onion...

"According to State Department officials, the violently clashing peoples of Israel and Palestine have agreed to resume small talks this week in an effort to move toward eventually having a discussion about the weather," according to the report.

Well, it's a start...

November 18, 2009

Hillary Clinton channels 'Godfather' mobster

Secretary of State Hillary Clinton has arrived in Kabul for Afghan President Hamid Karzai's inauguration.

Clinton offered pointed criticism of Karzai on the flight to Afghanistan.

Then, when she met Karzai, according to the pool report from Mark Landler of The New York Times, the secretary who famously castigated a student in Kinshasa with the curt cut-down "I'm not going to be channeling my husband," started channeling a Hollywood mobster.

"The conversation was pleasantries, revolving around Mrs. Clinton’s intense travel schedule and inauguration planning," Landler wrote in his pool report.

Then Landler injected a little Hollywood interpretation of the talks:

“You have a long journey and then you go to meetings straightaway,” Mr. Karzai said to Mrs. Clinton.

“It’s the life we’ve chosen,” Mrs. Clinton said, channeling Hyman Roth, the aging gangster in "Godfather: Part II."

For those who don't remember the story, Roth was a Jewish mobster who met a predictably bloody ending in the film.

The exact line is: "This is the business we've chosen."

(The line was also embraced by Tony Soprano.)

Perhaps it would be better for the secretary of state to go back to holding imaginary talks with Eleanor Roosevelt instead...

(AP photo: Anja Niedringhuas)

November 17, 2009

Saudi "Super Bad" sitcom's debut

Earlier this year, I wrote about a Quixotic attempt by some aspiring filmmakers in Riyadh who are trying to produce a pioneering Saudi "Super Bad" sitcom about four guys from Riyadh trying to start a band.

This weekend, the filmmakers plan to unveil their TV pilot.

Here's a sneak peek at the sitcom trailer:

November 16, 2009

Afghanistan: The pink boxers of war

For most of this decade, photojournalist David Guttenfelder has been documenting life in Afghanistan.

Now you can see the scope of his work here.

One of Guttenfelder's most famous recent photos featured U.S. Army Specialist Zachary Boyd joining a firefight last spring while wearing pink boxer shorts.

The photo, which appeared on the front page of The New York Times, prompted NPR's Bob Simon to quip: "Real men wear pink boxers."

(AP photos: David Guttenfelder)
 

November 14, 2009

Iron Chef: Kabul editon

First there was Iron Chef: Japan. Then there was Iron Chef: America. William Shatner hosted Iron Chef: USA. There's even been Iron Chef: Israel.

Now comes Iron Chef: Kabul.

This culinary showdown took place this weekend at the US Embassy in Kabul, where the 'Mericans sought to redeem themselves after a bitter loss last year to the British team.

Losing a cooking battle to the British?

It's no wonder that last year's first annual Iron Chef Afghanistan showdown ended with a pumpkin throwing battle...

This year it was (basically) US v. UN!

The 'Mericans issued a challenge to the local couple behind Foodie in a War Zone, a new blog that offers a unique take on life in Kabul.

("When bad things happen, bake," the bloggers wrote in a post last month after colleagues at a UN guest house came under attack...)

The two teams were given a choice of meats and told to make two courses with the secret special ingredients du jour: Pumpkin and pomegranate.

There were five judges, including two journos from esteemed news outlets (though not McClatchy).

On presentation of the main dishes, it looked as if Team 'Merica had the edge.

But, on taste, according to the judges, Team Foodie came out on top.

(One unnamed judge reportedly described the Team 'Merica chicken as being like a "dead hand.")

There was no pumpkin throwing melee when it was all over. No one accused anyone of vote rigging, though one of the referees did tell me privately that, this being Afghanistan, there was no ban on bribes...

(For the record: I have no reason to suspect that any bribes exchanged hands!)

But the whole drama no doubt has the US Embassy regrouping, reassessing its culinary skills and reconsidering US relations with the UN...

Team Foodie describes the showdown in full detail at the blog.

November 12, 2009

Checkpoint Orwell at the movie theater

There were many reasons we decided to name this blog Checkpoint Jerusalem.

When we started, there was a prolonged discussion about the name. We debated which country might grab the title as the leading Checkpoint Nation.

The competition is fierce.

But checkpoints and interrogations in Israel seem to evoke uniquely strong emotions.

I've written more than once about the intrusive grilling done at Ben Gurion airport. Many people have stories of being detained, strip searched, questioned and intimidated.

While here in Kabul, I ran into the witty mind behind "1983," a short film that grew out of his years of dealing with Israeli security checks.

This biting satire features Jacky Ido, a French actor who most recently appeared in Quentin Tarantino's "kosher porn" WWII Jewish revenge fantasy flick, "Inglourious Basterds."

"1983" imagines what it might be like if you had to go through an Israeli-type security check when you went to the movie theater...

I asked the writer why the movie is called "1983."

"What comes after 1983?" he asked...

1983 from Modi on Vimeo.

For those closely watching, Ido is waiting to see "Zardoz," a 1974 Sci-Fi flick starring Sean Connery in one of his more unusual roles, one that required him to dress up in rather unique duds...

November 11, 2009

Taliban fighters scoop up US weapons

Al Jazeera has come up with footage of Taliban fighters showing off American weapons that the group claims came from a remote military base in eastern Afghanistan that the US shuttered last month.

The provincial police chief said the US military left weapons at the base. But the US military said everything had been removed or destroyed...

November 10, 2009

To beard or not to beard in Afghanistan

It is fairly common practice for male journalists working in Afghanistan to grow a beard (when they can), to try and blend in.

But a recent post at Foreign Policy, titled "One reason you shouldn't go to Afghanistan with a beard" suggested that the practice might not be the best way to go.

For many Afghans, the article says, beards on Westerners "now carry a negative connotation" since beards are often worn by special operations forces.

"In Kandahar province's Zhari district," Foreign Policy notes, "elders refer to the 'bearded Americans,' who they say behave very badly, and the 'shaven Americans,' who aren't so bad. Likewise, in Uruzgan province, locals have complained about 'bearded Americans' using foul language and manhandling respected community elders and government officials."

"Of course, not all members of special operations forces -- U.S. or allied -- wear beards, and not all regular troops are clean-shaven," says FP. "Moreover, special operations soldiers tend not to be Rambo-types; they are often unassuming, if quietly confident, men, chosen as much for their mental as their physical aptitude."

"But (often bearded) special operations forces are responsible for the most dangerous and controversial missions," says FP. "Special operations forces, not regular troops, for instance, capture and kill key al Qaeda and Taliban figures. Apart from the civilian casualties these operations sometimes cause, they also bring these soldiers into close contact with Afghan society at places and times where it is most vulnerable and sensitive. Special operations forces, for example, perform late-night raids of Afghan homes, a deeply humiliating and dishonorable event in the local culture -- in particular, the searching of women's quarters."

November 09, 2009

Drinking martinis in Kabul

The first threat on our lives came less than 24 hours after we’d arrived in Afghanistan.

“Next time I see you,” said the Afghan outside our car window as he slid his thumb across his throat in a slicing motion, “I will kill you.”

The dangers in Afghanistan are legion. From roadside bombs and Taliban kidnappers to highway robberies and car bombs.

McClatchy’s Tom Lasseter has been threatened by Afghan President Hamid Karzai's brother. Jonathan Landay has been endangered by Taliban fighters that hit U.S. and Afghan soldiers he was traveling with in eastern Afghanistan.

This threat came from an adolescent boy in Kabul.

Two young street peddlers rushed up to us as we emerged from the main gate at NATO’s HQ walked past charred trees recovering from a suicide car bomber that killed seven civilians three months ago.

We bought two maps from the younger boy, but weren’t too interested in the cheap bracelets the older kid was selling. But he’d seen us shell out some cash already, so he kept trying to close the deal -- even as we got into the car to drive away.

It was then, in a last-ditch attempt to get rid of some bracelets, that he tried the hard sell.

“Next time I see you, I will kill you,” the scrawny boy said as he made the throat-slashing motion with his hand.

It was an idle, adolescent fatwa.

I couldn’t help but think of Achmed the dead terrorist, ventriloquist Jeff Denham’s famous skeleton suicide bomber, best known for threatening audiences laughing at him by shouting: “Silence! I kill you!”

But the dangers in Kabul are real, and ever-present.

The front gate of our guest house looks out on the charred UN compound hit two weeks ago by well-trained militants.

Hundreds of expat UN workers are suddenly being asked to pack up and move to Dubai or other nearby cities.

Rumors quickly filter through the social scene that a 7,000-pound bomb has been smuggled into Kabul.

The security at our guest house has quadrupled the number of armed guards and installed new security protections.

On my first visit to Kabul, I ask a friend who has worked here for years how to assess the dangers.

“You’ll know it,” she said, “when it happens to you.”

Behind the barricades, Kabul’s unusual social scene spins on. Military contractors check their handguns at the door of the city’s well-known Italian restaurant near the NATO HQ.

Expats gather to drink watered-down martinis made with fresh pomegranate juice at a party to celebrate the imminent opening of Kabul’s newest restaurant – an upscale eatery that will most likely be called “Martini Grill.”

When the red wine and beer run out, there is whiskey and vodka.

A mix of diplomats and journalists gather the next afternoon at a guest house for a scrumptious brunch that includes homemade cookies and hot pizza prepared by the cooks in the home’s new pizza oven.

Under the watchful eye of an armed Afghan security guard wearing a powder blue surgical mask (a largely useless effort to protect against “swine flu”) while standing watch in a guard tower surrounded by sand bags, brunchers whoop and cheer while playing croquet in the yard.

And there is dark, war zone humor.

At another dinner party with diplomats and UN staff preparing to pack up and move out because of the newest risks, one guy secretly jams everyone’s cell phones and says he’s just received a warning that another attack may be underway.

Guests laugh -- and the host pours more champagne that he won’t be able to bring with him when he moves.

November 03, 2009

The global tabbouleh dance craze

It is undoubtedly, as its creator suggests, the world's #1 dance song about tabbouleh.

The catchy lyrics are sweeping the globe and garnering hundreds of thousands of views on YouTube.

"In the club/Don't need a shorty or cutie/All I need to take is a bowl of tabbouleh/No we don't need hip hop house or trance/Cuz this song about a salad/make you shake your pants..."

The song by Virginia comedian Remy Munasifi is a culinary musical hit unlike any other.

Where else are you going to see a guy in a polyester suit dancing with light sticks while crooning about the charms of tabbouleh?

Munasifi, who is Lebanese-American, says songs like these are meant to challenge stereotypes.

The Virginia-based comedian made some political ripples in 2007 when his musical question about taxes was posed to Democratic presidential candidates during the CNN/YouTube presidential debate.

All of Munasifi's songs, including "A-R-A-B: The Rap" and a musical tribute to McDonald's, can be found at goremy.com

"WARNING," the Web site notes. "Do NOT watch these videos if you are allergic to awesome."