Today was the first day of Eid al Fitr. The holy month of Ramadan is over.
This is for Sunnis, of course. And a dilemma for me, it turned out.
Going out of the office, I saw the security guards – I walked over eagerly to say, "A blessed Eid to you!" But I stopped in my tracks… Are they Sunni? Or Shiite? If they were Shiite, would they resent it? Their Eid begins tomorrow. So I just said "as salamu alaikum" and walked by. I felt so bad. And I'm sure they were wondering the same thing about me, and kept their peace, too.
My daughter, my son and I drove off to attend the wonderful traditional family reunion at my parents' – and this is when all of our extended family gathers to celebrate Eid – all four generations of them, and going strong. Before 2003 the spoons I washed after Eid dinners numbered 130 and more. But now so many have left the country, to Syria, to Jordan, to Canada or Europe that only around thirty were there. And we do lunch instead of dinner because everyone needs to be safe at home at a "reasonable" time.
It was great! Small, but great!
For lunch we had prepared many traditional dishes including a huge dish of chicken biryani: spicy rice with roasted almonds and vermicelli, covered with spicy chicken halves. Dolma: vegetables stuffed with ground meat and spices – delicious! We had five or six more beautiful, beautiful dishes that everyone did justice to
After everyone left, we stayed for a while to chat, and then it was time to return. We stopped at a supermarket in Karrada to do a little shopping. We bought, amongst other things, onions and dates at the vegetable section. The assistant was very helpful, but as he was weighing the dates he looked straight into my eyes and said, "This is for Eid? – For tomorrow?" There was absolutely no reason why he should ask me this, and I got scared. If I say "no", I would be telling him I was Sunni. It was Sunnis who were celebrating Eid today. And if I say "yes", I would be lying. We were in a section of Baghdad that was controlled by the Supreme Council – the largest Shiite political party in the country, one known for its highly sectarian agenda. So I unashamedly lied. "Yes – of course." He gave me a knowing look and beamed.
We drove away, but my mind kept going back to his smile. There is nothing wrong with feeling proud of your sect, but this went way beyond that. For a moment there, I felt trapped. There has developed a layer that is underlying all interactions of our life on a daily basis: sectarianism. It has become an ugly fact of our daily lives.