A few years ago I bought a book, a history book, the writer chose writing down jokes annually to reflect the situation and the outlet people's use to express frustration and hope. Here are some of the jokes told around and sent by e-mails in Iraq. These jokes are not intended or written to make you laugh nor does it represent my point of view.
- An Iraqi man found an old lamp as he brushed it a Genie appeared.
"Shubaik Lubaik, I will make your wishes come true," he said.
"I want you to build us a bridge to Sweden," the Iraqi man said.
"This is impossible make another wish," the Genie said.
"I want you to fix the electricity in Iraq," the Iraqi man said.
"How many lanes do you want on that bridge?!" the Genie replied.
- An American man, a French man and an Iraqi man were caught drunk in Saudi Arabia. They were sentenced to be whipped 20 times. The executer came in happy because he got a phone call telling him that his wife gave birth and it’s a boy. He told the three men he will give each man a wish before he whips them. The American wished to have a pillow attached to his back. After the first five whips the pillow were torn and the American received 15 whips.
The French man wished to have two pillows to cover his back after ten whips the pillows were torn and he received 10 whips.
The executer told the Iraqi man he has two wishes as he is an Arab and a neighbor.
The Iraqi man's first wish was to be whipped 100 times, the executer agreed with amazement. The second wish was to cover the Iraqi man's back with the American.
- Imam Mahdi appeared, an Islamic figure who Muslim will be a savior at the end of time. He was leading his army ( the Mahdi army). He met Muqtada Al Sadr, the leader of the Shiite Mahdi army militia in Iraq, and asked a question.
"Who are these men behind you?"
Al Sadr replied, "They are the Imam Mahdi army,"
"So who are these people behind me? Sahwa," the Imam Mahdi said. (Sahwa in Arabic is Awakening, the U.S. sponsored mostly Sunni militia).
- An Iraqi and an American were playing chess. The American replaced a pawn with the queen, in Arabic the Minister, at the end of the chessboard. The Iraqi made his knight, in chess the piece is called the horse in Arabic, cross to the other end of the chessboard and tried to change it with the queen.
The American objected.
"You cannot change the Horse to the Minister," the American said.
"Then why in my country did donkeys became ministers?!" the Iraqi said.
In America, a jack ass can become president and get re-elected.
Posted by: Susan | May 18, 2008 at 11:29 PM
In America, a jack ass can become president and get re-elected.
Posted by: Susan | May 18, 2008 at 11:26 PM
ha ha ha
i know all these jokes ( I'm Iraqi )
I can tell you other jokes...
- A japanese man wants to show the iraqi man how japaneses are cleavers... " In japan, donkeys can make computers " the japanese said.
the Iraqi said: ' But in Iraq, a donkey becomes a president "
Posted by: Mahmoud | May 17, 2008 at 05:02 PM
English speakers call knights "horses" too, sometimes, but I haven't heard of us calling the queen "minister".
Thanks for sharing the jokes. They provide interesting insight into what Iraqis are thinking.
Posted by: Ben Rosengart | May 16, 2008 at 06:37 PM