Greetings from Cairo. I hope you're enjoying the long holiday weekend. I thought Memorial Day might be a good time to catch up with J, my friend and college roommmate who was recently deployed to Iraq as a medic with the National Guard. She's agreed to let me post her letters home to chronicle the transformation of a mother serving in a war zone. The last letter I posted from her described the anxiety of leaving Kuwait and heading to Baghdad, where she was to be stationed on the outskirts of the impoverished, militant-controlled district of Sadr City, home to some 3 million Iraqis.

So, settle in for some gripping reading that takes you straight into the life of a soldier on her first deployment. The following four letters take us through J finishing up training in Kuwait, trading in her 9mm for M4 practice, getting her first glimpse of Baghdad from a helicopter, moving into dismal barracks, hearing militants' mortar fire and U.S. retaliation, and learning the Iraqi dialect of Arabic.

Apologies for the long post (and if it appears garbled from cutting and pasting into TypePad from email), but I hadn't had time to edit out identifying details and slap these on the Web. There was no other editing. Also, if anyone would like reach J with specific questions, I am happy to forward the correspondence. Thanks, and enjoy!

LETTER 5

Hello everyone,

still in kuwait.  will be heading to iraq soon.  training here has pretty much been the same concept as new jersey, just WAY better and more up to date.  its basically a refresher to get our heads back in the game.  the days here seem really slow, but more relaxed and a slight bit more free time.  shot an M-4 for the 1st time in 11 years.

medics just carry 9mm, but i thought i chould get familiar witht the other one again, if thats all i have, plus i feel a little safer with a bigger weapon.  hate to say it, but im still a good shot:)  i may not be able to run from you, but i can shoot your ass!!  really hard with the gear though. laying down is almost impossible.

its getting hotter!!  it sucks but im actually handling it a little better than i thought i would.  they have a taco bell here, bigger PX (army store), small movie theater, computer labs, burger king, KFC, and little shops that the locals have to buy souvenirs, electronics, watches, etc.  havent bought much yet, waiting to get to iraq and hope that they still have the same stuff there.  there is also pallets of water bottles everywhere you go so people stay hydrated (they are free, but really warm from being in the sun all day).

everything tastes a little bit different here.  milk is not so good, cheese had a weird taste and well as some other things.  dont have much of an appetite, but get nauseated if i dont eat, so i have to.  other people are feeling the same thing.  probably mostly due to the heat, but also cuz stuff doesnt taste that great.  the closest thing to home is the taco bell.  tastes the same, which strikes me as odd, so ive eaten there a few times.  oh, and the grapes here are enormous!!!

i am sick again, dammit.  lost my voice yesterday and it even worse today.  people love making fun of me cuz now i cant say anything back.  it rained here once about a week ago and then about 4 days ago literally down poured with lighting and thunder and all.  they havent had rain here in 8 months.  and the strangest thing of all is that it actually hailed!!!!  well, probably closer to sleet, but still, it was ice!!  in the desert in april!!!!  the ice mixed with the extreme heat of the sand made for some awesome steam/mist.  we even had to stop driving for awhile.  it was almost scary and dream like.

we also got the latest and greatest in body armor.  it is 4 pounds lighter and also is distributed way better so the weight isnt all on your shoulders.  it feels alot better.  we are on cots for now, 70 some males for tent and 24 females in another so we have it a little better.  the guys are really crowded.  but we have close showers, porta potties ( they are larger here though), and most importantly air conditioning.

im almost out of computer time but that is all i can really think of now.  cant call home as often, but it sounds weird, but its almost way easier on me.  i think hearing the voices on the other end are really nice, but its an everyday reminder that you cant be with them.  if you dont hear them, you kind of distance yourself and forget about it for awhile.  i dont know if thats a good description, I STILL LOVE YOU (my husband), but maybe some of you know what i mean. 

love you all very much,

J

LETTER 6

Hello All,

     It’s been quite an experience since I last wrote.  On april 18^th we emptied out our tents in Kuwait stacked all of our bags to get loaded and cleaned everything up.  This was all done by about 9am.  The buses were to pick us up at noon.  So we sat around in the horrible dust storm, got our gear on, stood in formation for 15 minutes only to hear that because of the storm, the buses were not running.  Gear off. 

     So we were on stand by until 130, and then again until 315 and then finally at 345 our buses came.  Gear on, load bags, get on the bus.  We drove an hour or so to the airport, got off the buses, grabbed our one carry on we were allowed to take and got off the bus to a holding area.  We were able to take our gear off here and were told the next formation would be at 8pm to leave for the planes.  We got our gear on, packed the bus up and got on the bus toward the runway and then turned around.  We got off, took our gear off and unloaded the bus and were told the planes were not in yet from Baghdad because of the storm.  “we might leave at midnight”, so we packed into 2 small tents. Some people got chairs others had cement floor.  So for three more hours we waited and then at midnight they came and told us we weren’t leaving, so sleep if we could and wake up was at 5am.  I was able to pull two chairs together and sleep on them.  Finally being short pays off!!

     April 19^th-We woke up at 5 got our gear on, found out we were still not leaving and were taken to some tents that had bunks since we would be staying another night.  Gear off.  We all slept until about noon and then ate, showered, computer, etc.  that night we watched a movie in our tent and realized we had a little mouse visitor.  “oh don’t worry”, someone said, “they wont bother you while you sleep”.  Well, I guess I might be the mouse whisperer because 3 different times throughout the night I felt him and saw him running around on my legs!!!.  All I could think about was him running up inside my pant leg and then having my screaming wake up the whole tent.  April 20^th-The next morning my story was received by much laughter and as proof I found that the mouse had left me a parting gift.  Two actually, in the form of mouse turds!!

     So there we are, putting our gear on, marching to the next holding area and then eating an MRE.  Gear off.  (I’m saying it like this, because this stuff is not easy to put on.  With the new body armour it takes the help of your buddy to get everything situated.  It takes quite a few minutes to fasten everything properly, tighten everything properly, etc.  on top of that its at LEAST 60 pounds.)

 

We were to leave at 8am.  So we all loaded our gear and boarded the buses, crossing our fingers that this time it was for real.  It was, and we boarded the plane.  This was it.  We would be in the war zone in less than two hours.  You could cut the tension with a knife.  We all packed in like sardines, sat on the cargo net seating. With our gear on and our bag on our lap, we barely had enough room to blink.  90 minutes later and with our legs half asleep, we got off the plane.  And guess what…we went to another holding area until we knew if our plane could fly or not. 

So, gear off. This was around noon, we were told to go eat and then load all of our bags onto trucks.  That’s 4 big bags per 180 people.  That brought us to about 5pm and then we were told choppers weren’t flying so we had to get our gear on, load the bus and we would drive to another FOB for the night.  Spent the night in a tent in which we couldn’t figure out how to adjust the a/c so we froze our asses off.  April 21^st-we had the day to do whatever we wanted, so some read, some shopped and some slept.

We were to leave at 1600 to be taken back to the airport.  So again, gear on, pack and load up the bus.  Drive to airport, unload, take gear off, wait 3 hours, gear on, wait another hour and then finally at 9 we saw our choppers land.  Ill never forget the view.  It was a full moon, choppers were landing and taking off everywhere as we walked to ours.  They left the back door open, so as we were flying we could see all the lights of Baghdad, temples, houses, aircraft flying and everything aglow by the beautiful moon.  It was very dreamlike and again felt like we were in a movie.

     We landed 20 minutes later, walked 15 minutes to our housing area and were told to get some shut eye.  The line platoons rooms were very nice and newly remodeled.  We were supposed to have the same, but some last minute changes were done.  Headquarters would be staying across the street.  I walked over, saw a cute little covered patio area that looked a little “resorty”.  I thought this wont be so bad.  And then I opened the door to our room.  My first thought…”Mexican prison cell”

Adios,

J

LETTER 7

     So we find out our room was an old maintenance bay that had some walls put up to be made into a room.  The walls were dirty with cracks and holes.  An inch of dust layered everything.  The floors were cement with grease and paint stains.  The window was broken, and boarded up.  There was a dust covered miniature xmas tree on the window ledge.  Sprayed on one wall was, “2 angry Americans, 1 pissed off Mexican!”  We had a hubcap for wall décor and a mortar shell for a table center piece. The wall lockers looked like they would fall apart if we even dared to touch them. Let’s just say the Iraqi Feng shui representative must have not made it to our room yet.  We had new mattresses so that was nice, however, I did not know they could make foam so hard.  You would sit down on your bed and your butt would not go anywhere.  My arms fell asleep last night so I constantly had to change positions.  Hopefully it will break in in a few days.  One major perk is that our room is a hard covered structure.  So that means when mortars come in, we don’t have to run to the bunkers, we can just stay right where we are, snuggled in all nice and warm on our rock slab looking peacefully at the comforting mortar shell on the table. 

     We got a tour of the FOB today.  It is pretty small compared to other FOB’s but it’s actually really nice because we don’t have to walk so far to everything and it gives it more of a homey feeling.  We have a small theater where they play movies, a pool table, two ping pong tables, computer and phone labs and an awesome gym.  Laundry service is available here for free so that is super cool.  We drop it off in the morning, they wash and fold it for us and then we pick it up the next day.  There are a few shops here ran by the locals selling anything from electronics to rugs.  There is a dvd store (illegally copied) so you can get 2 for $5 if you don’t mind Arabic subtitles.  We have a coffee shop and hookah bar (big smoking device, much like a bong (not that I know what that is) that you can smoke tobacco out of).  We have a barber shop and even a small salon for the females. 

     I was introduced to the sr medic of the unit that we are replacing today.  He showed me around and introduced me to other people on the FOB.  We will being working with a nurse practitioner who is very nice.  It should be really good medical experience working with her.  She will let us remove cysts, moles, stitches and basically give us free rein to make diagnosis and treat once we have proven our ability.  She also has us conduct classes every Wednesday so that we stay current with our medical knowledge. 

     There are about 2500 people on the FOB.  Most FOB’s have anywhere from 4-10K, so as I said we are quite small.  Of the 2500 people, only about 250 of them are military and of that 180 is our unit.  The rest of the people are civilian contractors, FBI, CIA, and the Ugandan security force.  There might be 50 women total so you definitely get the stare down wherever you go and always get a hello and any help, needed or not. 

     I actually feel really safe here.  The other FOB’s get multiple mortar attacks daily and we haven’t had one here for several months (cross my fingers).   They say it is because we are surrounded by the Iraqi army on one side, the Iraqi college on the other and JAM (militant bad guys we are fighting) on the other side and if the bad guys miss their target they could end up hitting one of their own. 

     Food here is amazing so no complaints there.  I will just be trying to get settled in and start learning the ways of ordering supplies, doing sick calls and all the other medical info we need to know.  Since there are five of us females in one smaller room they told us that two of us might be moving out once the other unit leaves and frees up some more rooms so im not going to get totally unpacked yet.  There are palm trees everywhere here so that is much nicer than Kuwait and the birds chirping are very nice as well.  Didn’t expect to see or hear either of those here.  Showers are also very nice here and we actually have porcelain toilets, whoo hoo!!  Oh, and two ply toilet paper baby!!!

     My husband is keeping very busy back home with work and being a temporary single dad.  My daughter is doing wonderful and is talking like a champ, but also getting sassy.  (My husband) said shes been asking for “mommy” a lot lately especially if she has a bad dream, but has been doing well.  She went for a walk with (my sister) the other day and a couple said hi to her and she said “no, im cranky”.  And then (my husband) picked her up the other day with his softball bag in the back seat, she asked what it was and he told her.  She said “no, you are not playing softball!”.  I cant talk to them as much here, especially her, because the hours I call she is at daycare, unless its on the weekend.  I hate that part but soon we should be getting our internet going and then I can get on the webcam and see them both.  She doesn’t say too much on the phone, but I get a “I love you, momma, I miss you, and a God bless you” out of her.  And always at the end of the call she says good bye and “peace out, momma”,  its so cute but heartbreaking too.  (my husband) also took her to a wedding last weekend in which she learned the chicken dance for the first time.  She got it right away and loved it, however, when the song ended she was pissed.  She sat on the middle of the dance floor by herself and cried.  He had to go and pick her up. 

Love,

J

LETTER 8

     Marhaba, (hello)

     Okay so after this I should be pretty much caught up with any good info for you all.  So the last 10 days are so we have been hearing a lot of bombing and some gunfire.  It took a few minutes for it to really sink in that those noises are not just people qualifying on the range back home.  This is the real deal and then that’s a little disturbing.  We had to wear our gear for two days anytime we were outside because the enemy was bombing local FOBs so much and many people were getting injured and worse. 

     On april 28^th, one of our squads got attacked at their station.  8 rockets came in and destroyed the building.  From the pictures you wouldn’t have thought many would have survived.  Thankfully God was with them and only 3 were injured.  Mostly major concussions and banged up knees from being thrown by the pressure of the blasts.  A few days later all you could hear were the choppers firing their huge “hellfire” missiles.  Somebody was definitely getting paid back and we all know paybacks are a B-----!!!.  There are more attacks when it is dusty outside because they know that our choppers cant fly.  Since then it has been fairly quiet.  Not sure if that’s good or just the calm before the storm again.  I still feel pretty safe where we are, so don’t worry.  Nothing has came on our FOB yet. 

     On april 30^th I went outside the wire for the first time.  I was really scared especially after what had happened.  It was actually uneventful and quite interesting to see the surrounding township.  If you can see past the dirtiness and poverty, the city has a lot of character and beautiful architecture.  Its just that so much of it is run down.  There were kids in uniforms and backpacks on their way to school.  Some were holding hands and some were alone.  A child too young for school was sitting on the bench with his grandpa.  People were doing the normal hustle and bustle of city life. Shopping, rushing to get to work on time, disciplining children.  There were clothing stores with mannequins and beautiful clothing.  There were ads for the LG “chocolate” phone, cigarettes and computers.  What I found very interesting is that 8 stores in a row on the sidewalk were selling tires.  Then you would have a few food, jewelry or other goods, and then 8 more tire shops.  Most children waved and as we got further out of town children ran out of their homes because they know that we throw candy, stuffed animals, etc out of our vehicles to them.  Closer to the other FOB the city life ended and just a few shacks were here and there.  At one point it looked like the world had ended.  Nothing was standing except for palm trees and it looked like the place had been totally demolished.  There were piles of cement and dirt everywhere.  Not sure if there was something there at one point or if it just had never been established.  Garbage was everywhere. Ironically blue, pink and yellow colored plastic bags added a little cheer to the otherwise brown and gray backdrop. 

    We moved into our new room 3 days ago.  I totally gutted the place and took out the carpet.  The new room is much nicer.  The walls are still nasty but we can paint them or put fabrics up and that should brighten the place up a bit.  Oh, I got a different mattress!!!  When the old unit left we acquired some of their mattresses.  So it kind of disturbing to think that someone else has been on this bed for the last year, but it looks and feels like its in really good condition.  I’ll just spray the hell out of it with some disinfecting Lysol. 

     Being a female here really pays off, especially when your unit cant get you something or cant get it as soon as you want it.  We have a huge gap under our door and along the sides where noise, light, dust and critters can get in to and I asked for some spray insulation to plug it up.  “oh, I don’t know if we can get that” I was told by our unit.  Then awhile later one of the civilians saw me staring down my door, (as I was trying to figure out what else I could do) and asked if he could help.  “Moment Of Opportunity” rang through my head and I played the “oh, I just don’t know what to do”, damsel in distress card, batted my eyes and 12 hours later I had some spray insulation!!  Don’t worry honey, I didn’t have to do anything in return!

     I have made friends with one of the local shop owners.  I have him looking for some goods for me and we just started talking.  Hes an older gentleman, id say in his late 50’s early 60’s and is very sweet.  One of the items I want is a bracelet with (my daughter’s) name in Arabic.  He asked what her name is (it’s an Arabic name, not mentioned here to protect J’s identity). he said, “ this is Iraqi name!!’  since then we have formed a relationship.  He is still looking for the right thing because he said if it is for my daughter it must be good quality so im to check back in a few days because his son is searching for this.  He is teaching me a little Arabic so I am able to practice what little I know with him.  I found out that in iraq i wouldn’t introduce myself as j.  (ofcourse, to some people I would), but it is more respectful if I say “Umm (my daughter’s name)”, meaning “Mother of (my daughter’s name)”.  I still feel funny when I talk in arabic but maybe as I get better I will be more comfortable with it.  There is also another gentleman, about the same age, that works here as an interpreter.  We were in the computer lab the other day and he was asking questions about how to send stuff via email.  I showed him how and then also typed a letter for him to his supervisor because his pay was messed up and he was asking how to say what he needed to say.  So I also have another local that I can practice with. I think the first guy (Abu Hisam, father of Hisam) will teach me more traditional Iraqi culture and Abdulmessah (means one who obeys messiah) will be a little more modern.  We shall see.  It can be very difficult trying to explain things to each other but its kind of fun.  Its like really intense charades.  Their English is very good though.

Love you all and miss you very much. 

Ma’a salama,(goodbye)

J

I can't feel my legs, one toenail is gone and tomorrow is sure to bring an even bigger wave of full-body pain. Climbing Egypt's Mt. Sinai is not exactly a fun experience, but the reward is reaching the summit in time for what is surely one of the world's most spectacular sunrises.

Mt. Sinai, according to the Old Testament, is where Moses is said to have received the Ten Commandments; there is some dispute over its exact location. At the foot of an adjacent mountain is the Monastery of St. Catherine, one of the oldest working monasteries on the planet and the purported home of the legendary burning bush. I'll let the theologians debate the religious significance of this ancient ground; what's not in question is the breathtaking natural beauty of the area.

I'm beyond exhausted and still need to write a travel piece on Mt. Sinai sometime soon, so I won't spend a lot of time on it here today. These are the basics: 4,000 steps carved into the mountain by monks, camel caravans silhouetted in the moonlight, sun-kissed Bedouin guides, an altitude of about 7,400 feet, pilgrims from all over the world gathering at the peak to pray in at least a half-dozen tongues when the sun rises from a craggy moonscape.

Tomorrow it's back to smoggy, lovable Cairo (and political developments in Beirut), but first I'd like to share a couple of shots from the overnight experience on Mt. Sinai. Please check back for that travel story -- and if you've scaled Mt. Sinai and have tips or anecdotes that could be included, please send them my way!

Human Rights Watch today called on Lebanese authorities to investigate the killings of civilians and look into other potential violations of humanitarian law in the fierce sectarian clashes last week that left at least 65 people dead and about 200 wounded. Fighting began May 7 and mostly ended Wednesday, when the Lebanese Cabinet rescinded two controversial orders that had provoked Hezbollah and its allies into a bloody retaliation.

HRW's Beirut researchers say that both parties to the conflict -- forces loyal to the U.S.-allied government as well as the Hezbollah-led opposition movement -- committed violations such as using powerful weapons in crowded civilian areas, detaining people and keeping them incommunicado, and carrying out executions. There was at least one case that points to torture; a casualty of the fighting was discovered with skin from his forearm removed, according to Human Rights Watch.

HRW also voiced concern that authorities loyal to one side or the other would shield their allies from investigation and possible prosecution, further leaving the impression that such spurts of bloodshed will go unpunished.

"Accounts of abuses by the gunmen are spreading like wildfire and raising tensions," said Joe Stork, deputy Middle East director for HRW. "Unless the state acts quickly to hold the perpetrators accountable there are likely to be further reprisals."

I didn't see the news release on the HRW Website, but it might be up later on. Check it out at http://www.hrw.org/

And a little update from here at the World Economic Forum on the Middle East, in Sharm el Sheikh, Egypt: We just heard that Lebanese Prime Minister Fouad Saniora will not be attending the conference, where he was to meet with his ally, President Bush. No reasons were given for the decision, though Saniora likely would have faced intense criticism for leaving Lebanon at such a volatile time.

I've been a terrible blogger lately. I spent the last week covering the showdown in Beirut, and didn't have time to post at the end of those very long days. My apologies.

This was a particularly savage round of Lebanon's neverending civil strife, which made it all the more jarring to see how quickly the Lebanese absorbed news reports of massacres and then, the minute the immediate crisis was over, went right back to shopping at fancy malls and lounging at cafes. Sadly, things probably will get much, much worse before they get better. Check out this International Crisis Group report on the recent political violence.

This morning I arrived in the Egyptian Red Sea resort town of Sharm el Sheikh for the World Economic Forum on the Middle East, a sort of mini-Davos summit for the Arab world. My flight touched down at dawn and Egyptian workers at the main airport roundabout were still hard at work pulling down international flags and replacing them with an impressive column of U.S. flags to welcome President Bush. (There was something a little bizarre about watching Arabic-speaking laborers struggle to bring down the Canadian flag in order to unfurl Old Glory.)

In line to check into the hotel, I met a tall, blond European businessman who is a self-described "scenario specialist." He said he helped to design the three "scenarios" that WEF delegates will be asked to analyze and discuss as they try to envision the planet in 2025; the conference theme is Learning From the Future. Briefly, the scenarios are the Hyperlinked World, the Sustainable World and the Multipolar World. For more details, click here.

I'd read about the scenarios on the plane ride, thanks to a write-up in EgyptAir's in-flight magazine, Horus. When I first saw that delegates would be discussing scenarios for the Middle East in 2025, I was thinking more along the lines of "Islamist rule in Egypt" or "A Partitioned Iraq" or "Still no Palestinian state" or "the U.S.-led war in Iran." Sustainability? Hyperlinking? It all struck me as a little too rosy for what's really happening on the ground.

Evidently, my new European scenario specialist acquaintance gets that kind of skepticism a lot, because he addressed it before I'd said anything more than, "Oh, yeah, the scenarios. Read about them on the plane."

"We don't do horrible scenarios and such," he said. "We go for something positive, something you can work toward, something you can discuss."

So, no bombing or coup scenarios?

"No, if we did that kind of thing, no one would come," he said with a laugh. "You've got to give them something aspirational."

The future looks dismal for an estimated 2.5 million Iraqi refugees who are now scattered throughout the Arab world, Europe and Australia. The UN's refugee agency just released its May 2008 update on Iraq's refugee crisis, and the situation is grim. More Iraqis need food assistance, health care, cash handouts and education, according to the UN agency's survey of the vast Iraqi refugee community in the Syrian capital of Damascus.

Among the most disturbing findings in the latest UN report:

The UN and Syrian government estimate the Iraqi population in Syria to be between 1 and 1.5 million people. The UN has registered only 194,273.

About 157,000 Iraqis missed out on food rations because the main distribution site was dismantled April 29 after the Syrian government reclaimed the land for other purposes.

Latest survey results show that 4 percent of Iraqi refugees in Syria planned to return to Iraq, 89.5 were not planning to return to Iraq, 6.5 percent did not know if they were returning to Iraq, and 27 percent knew people who had returned to Iraq.

Of the refugees registered since 2007, more than 22,000 are victims of torture/violence, more than 28,000 have an important medical condition and more than 4,000 are women at risk.

Of all the refugees registered to date, 56.5 percent are Sunni, 20.2 percent are Shiite and 16 percent are Christian.

Fewer than 25 percent of Iraqi refugee children are enrolled in school

The UN refugee agency is protecting 50 Iraqi women in Douma Prison and six Iraqi girls (ages 12 to 17) in the Juvenile and Rehabilitation Center. The majority of the girls and women are survivors of sexual gender-based violence, including rape and forced prostitution.

In 2007, the UN submitted 7,852 Iraqi refugees for resettlement in other countries. Only 833 refugees were resettled.

Apologies for the long absence. I've just returned to Egypt and will start posting again tomorrow.

Thank you!